Novel based on a diary

by BenJ
(Brits, South Africa)

Question: I am writing story based on diary entries of a long dead family member. There is the actions of the reader who found the diary (later acting on the diary entries for a quest).

1. How do I and where would I enter the current person's actions?
2. My diary entries tend to be problematic as i write them though penned by the writer there is interactions, discussions, and events happening which I write as per normal. i have difficulty writing it as just a short cryptic entry. It is also not entirely as a narrator.

Examples:
The next day Bulan was conscious but very weak, still feverish but alive. When I told him what I did he looked at me, in a raspy whisper “You did well darling … you did well” his voice faltering. I fed him some water, swallowed with difficultly.

A sound ripped through the peace, sharp and primal: a woman's scream of agonizing pain. It didn't just pierce the night; it rebounded in the cavernous mouth of the cave, echoing off the ancient rock.
Bulan was instantly awake, his hand instinctively reaching for the spear leaning against the rock wall. My heart hammered against my ribs, a cold knot forming in my stomach. Are we attacked? Was it the wild dogs seen yesterday? The Ovambo’s?


My hands, once accustomed to finer tasks, had grown strong and calloused. I asked for an arrangement of ostrich feathers, not for adornment, but for a purpose my people would find laughably mundane. Bulan, with a twinkle in his eye, carefully selected the stiffest quills, lashed them together with sinew, and presented me with a perfectly functional mini-brush. Its purpose: to sweep our sleeping area, keeping it free of dust and stray detritus. The bushmen, initially bewildered, then watched with utter delight. They would mimic my sweeping motions, their faces alight with innocent joy, often dissolving into fits of gay laughter as they chased imaginary dust motes across the cave floor.

"Bulan!" I snapped, my voice sharp with desperation, "Please! Help me. Tell her... tell her to kneel! On all fours!" The woman, resisted, her screams intensifying, her eyes wide with terror and pain. But then, the Matriarch, her voice a low, steady rumble, spoke to her in their tongue, her hand stroking the girl's sweat-soaked hair. Slowly, agonizingly, the young mother, with a final, choked sob, relented, pushing herself onto her hands and knees.
Am I really up for this? My hands, usually steady, trembled visibly. What if something went wrong? What if I hurt her? Or the child? But the thought was fleeting. She and the child would surely die anyway if I did nothing.

Answer: The usual procedure with such a story is to make the person who finds the diary the main character. Start the story from their point of view. Describe the events from their perspective.

Then, when this person starts to read a diary entry, you can put the diary entry in italics (to separate it from the main narrative, perhaps beginning with the date of the entry.

If the diary entries are quite long, you may want to put them in separate chapters.

Either way, it is important to make clear to the reader of your story that two narratives are going on: that of the main character who is reading the diary, and that of the diary writer. You also want to make it clear each time you switch from one narrative to the other, so the reader never gets confused.

What's fun about writing such a story is that you get to decide which of the two narratives to fully develop into a complete story with a beginning, middle, and end. Usually, it is best to develop the main character's story, but you could develop the diary writer's story as well.

Incidentally, your examples are all written in first person. I suspect you have two first person narrators, which makes sense. Very few books are written in second person, as it is difficult to do successfully.

I hope that helps.

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